Tonight you asked me to sing you to sleep: twinkle twinkle little star is your favourite.
You must have asked at least 10 times. This happens every night and I know it’s just a delaying tactic, trying to avoid going to sleep. But tonight I did sing. Again and again. Because one day you won’t want me to sing you to sleep anymore. One day, you will ask me to sing ‘again’ for the last time. I’m pretty sure tonight wasn’t the last time – but how can I be so sure it wasn’t the last time?
You fell asleep in my arms for a last time once and I never knew. I breast fed you for the last time once, and I never knew. You called me ‘mimi’ for the last time once, now you can say ‘Mummy’ properly, but I can’t remember when that actually happened.
There is a last time for all these little milestones and many of them pass without me even noticing. So while I can, I’m going to do my best to make the most of these ordinary moments, cherish and treasure them, for one day they will no longer be the ordinary, but a thing of the past.
Sometimes I lose my patience, sometimes I get angry. Because being a Mummy is hard. But one of the hardest things sometimes, is not realising how precious these moments are before they become distant memories.
So I am making a promise to myself, and to you, to say ‘yes’ more often – to one more book, to one more kiss, for one more song… before it’s too late 💕